September 24th, 2008 at 11:46 am
Yesterday was our second pre-marital session with the counselor, and I have to admit I'm liking it more and more each time. We received three sessions as a gift from a family member since our church doesn't offer anything similar. I'm so lucky to be with a guy who is totally open to things like this, and who's invested in our relationship being the best that it can be.
I wasn't sure what to expect going in, in fact I was even a little apprehensive, but it has turned out to be more eye opening than I thought. My fiance and I had no specific issues we needed to address but it was interesting learning about common marital issues and what skills we should have in order to deal with any problems that might arise in the future. The counselor put us at ease right away, and was humorous and lighthearted making opening-up be pretty effortless.
The first session concentrated on our backgrounds, our relationship up till now and our hopes for our future. The counselor talked to us about common problems couples face in the first few years of marriage and asked us how we'd go about solving them if they happened to us.
During the second session we talked in depth about aspects of our relationship that are going well that we'd like to continue, and things we need to work on and need to improve. We also talked about our families and how they express love and communicate and how that is evident in us. This session really reinforced my belief that we have a really solid foundation, and that we're both invested in making this work through thick and thin. It also explained why he and I act a certain way in relationships, mirroring what we saw our parents do.
The third session will be about our expectations of marriage and of each other. We both have a vision of what we'd like our future to be like together, and what we think marriage really means, and we will get to share that with each other. I am looking forward to it.
It has been a fulfilling experience so far and it is interesting talking with someone who is an experienced marriage counselor. He has heard about almost every type of problem that married couples can face and he is preparing to us for what can go wrong and what we can do to prevent it. I'd definitely recommend something like this to every couple in the midst of wedding planning.
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:30 pm
I really don't want to be a member of this club, but I need all the advice I can get. These are things we should all be doing, regardless of how comfortable we are at our jobs. Nothing like being prepared when the unexpected strikes to make the transition less painful and scary.
From the Huffington Post today:
Tips for the Suddenly Unemployed
September 22nd, 2008 at 09:11 am
With the layoff last week still a fresh wound, it was time to revisit the wedding budget and see if there was anything to trim.
W-Day is less than two weeks away and most things are already paid for, but I was able to trim down a few things this weekend:
* moved the hair trial and appt to a cheaper salon ($120)
* Doing my own makeup now ($75)
* Honeymoon is downgraded to three days and to a closer location ($300)
* photographers are down to three hours, ($100). I'm bringing my SLR, and asking guests to take pictures as well.
* I have the option to take back my favors which would save about $60, but I'm not sold on this yet...
Last day of work is the 1st of the month and they are keeping me as busy as ever. I'm not plunging myself into the jobsearch as much as I should because the wedding is taking all my free time and energy. Just trying to take it one thing at a time.
September 19th, 2008 at 03:41 pm
I am in total shock. Yes, I was hearing all the financial news, and being more careful with spending, but you just never feel that it could happen to you. I feel like this is a bad dream.
I've been working since I was 16 years old: part time during school and college and full time otherwise. I've never been laid off before, I was always the one in control of the situation and looked for new positions on my own terms.
I work(ed) in R&D for a division of a large, very well known outdoor/travel company. Recently we went through a structural re-organization. The first thing our new president did was eliminate 25% of the positions in our office, including my own. My boss was almost in tears because there was nothing he could do and he was being told to outsource half of his staff to India.
I consider myself very lucky to have received a good severance package and having two more weeks of work. I'm glad I have a fiance that can support us so I can buy food/gas and pay my mortgage and utilities. I am glad that I am healthy and I have friends and family to lean on.
My wedding is 2 weeks away. This couldn't have happened at a worse time. I've talked the thrifty talk now I will really have to walk the walk, like I never have before...
September 18th, 2008 at 08:53 am
I came across this interesting article at readers digest today. I found it especially humorous reading about them abandoning a full shopping cart at Target after realizing they don't need any of that junk. I've definitely had those feelings before.