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Pre-Marital Counseling

September 24th, 2008 at 11:46 am



Yesterday was our second pre-marital session with the counselor, and I have to admit I'm liking it more and more each time. We received three sessions as a gift from a family member since our church doesn't offer anything similar. I'm so lucky to be with a guy who is totally open to things like this, and who's invested in our relationship being the best that it can be.

I wasn't sure what to expect going in, in fact I was even a little apprehensive, but it has turned out to be more eye opening than I thought. My fiance and I had no specific issues we needed to address but it was interesting learning about common marital issues and what skills we should have in order to deal with any problems that might arise in the future. The counselor put us at ease right away, and was humorous and lighthearted making opening-up be pretty effortless.

The first session concentrated on our backgrounds, our relationship up till now and our hopes for our future. The counselor talked to us about common problems couples face in the first few years of marriage and asked us how we'd go about solving them if they happened to us.

During the second session we talked in depth about aspects of our relationship that are going well that we'd like to continue, and things we need to work on and need to improve. We also talked about our families and how they express love and communicate and how that is evident in us. This session really reinforced my belief that we have a really solid foundation, and that we're both invested in making this work through thick and thin. It also explained why he and I act a certain way in relationships, mirroring what we saw our parents do.

The third session will be about our expectations of marriage and of each other. We both have a vision of what we'd like our future to be like together, and what we think marriage really means, and we will get to share that with each other. I am looking forward to it.

It has been a fulfilling experience so far and it is interesting talking with someone who is an experienced marriage counselor. He has heard about almost every type of problem that married couples can face and he is preparing to us for what can go wrong and what we can do to prevent it. I'd definitely recommend something like this to every couple in the midst of wedding planning.

7 Responses to “Pre-Marital Counseling”

  1. Broken Arrow Says:

    Hey, I really like your color scheme! And I'm you like your counseling. I liked mine, believe it or not. Even though I'm most definitely not a go-to-the-counselor kind of guy.

  2. fern Says:

    What a fantastic gift idea to give an engaged couple.

  3. pretty cheap jewelry Says:

    Take notes ! Keep a journal !
    If nothing else, to open on your 10th anniversary for some chuckles ?!

    Congrats and ♥

  4. MileHighGal Says:

    Thanks BA. I'm a sucker for the fall colors.

    Pretty Cheap Jewelry - great idea! At the suggestion of our counselor we are keeping our homework and notes to look back on later. I'm also using a lot of what I wrote in my wedding vows. Although those will be read to each other in private, not during the ceremony.

  5. sillyoleme Says:

    Ya know, it's good to hear about this type of counseling. The only couple I've ever known to go to pre-marital counseling was my aunt & uncle, and I didn't like what they told me about it. They are pretty devout Christians, but even my aunt got a bit perturbed at the preacher/counselor telling her that she is supposed to put her husband above herself AND their children, decisions would be ultimately the husband's, etc.

    From hearing that, I knew I wouldn't be going to a counselor! But your sessions seem to be genuinely helpful... maybe I'll reconsider one day! Smile

  6. MileHighGal Says:

    sillyoleme - our counselor is a licensed therapist who is not religiously affiliated. Although, even our church doesn't teach such conservative family values. I guess you just have to look and find one with whom you can agree and someone who makes you feel comfortable.

  7. gamecock43 Says:

    I really envy that you get this wonderful opportunity. A 3rd party perspective is great. I would love to do the maritial clounceling too- but 1. not willing to spend the money because...2. Baseball boy would never go for it. Only if we were thinking of breaking up would he go. So hopefully it is not in my future.

    But keep us updated on your counseling, I find the sessions so fascinating.

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